Horse Head Bookends

Unlike my overzealous compatriot I enjoy movies both old and new, but I do find that there is a better chance I will enjoy a movie if it was made in the 40s.

That's not what I want to speak of today however. I, too, want to speak of injustice. As an avid movie fan I have an extensive DVD collection that I feel is incomplete. While a collector is never truly done, there are a few essential titles that I feel are gravely missing from the format.

Number one on my list is Student Bodies. This 1981 Michael Ritchie film (nee, Alan Smithee) is hands down the best horror spoof ever made. Most of you probably think Scream holds that honor, but Scream did not have "horse head bookends". I know Michael Ritchie disowned this movie, because he thought it would hurt his respectability (after all he directed the exceptional original version of the Bad News Bears), but that is why it is so essential. It is low budget, low-art and everything else that Hollywood wants to hide. This is a movie to watch over and over again for the sheer joy of it's cinematic wonders. Has anybody ever purposefully watch Amistad a second time... Exactly!



Other films that I feel warrant the digital format include Blood Beach, The Keep, The Bermuda Depths, The Girl From Starship Venus, Patti Rocks and Miracle Beach (Ami Dolenz best role - she wears a bikini throught the entire picture - Barbara Eden be warned!). There may be a few others I forgot but these are the ones that's non-existance vex me.

You might ask me, "Esteeb, but aren't all of these are either small ridiculous movies that no one wants to see?" And my reply would be well if they are unnecessary why then are Kiss The Girls and Con Air available on DVD? OK, I see. They have "star" power, despite being utter crap. Still, they released Savage Weekend on DVD, and while I gleefully own a copy, it certainly doesn't rank up there with any the afforementioned titles. OK, maybe it's better than The Girl From Starship Venus, but that one has more nudity.

I implore all of you to run out to Amazon.com, videoeta.com or any other DVD/Movie Studio site and start demanding these movies be digitized and cleaned up for release. Even if they only make one copy for me.

Oh and one more thing, run out to Walmart and any other fine DVD retailer and grab all of their DVDs of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (especially the 14-disc special editions) and burn them. Burn them in the store. Burn them all. And anyone who tries to stop you... light them on fire.

Then stand up and say "We beckon you all... Tripe begone! Put Student Bodies out on DVD!!!"

Spartacus robbed of 1961 Oscar

After watching Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, "Spartacus", it is hard to believe that this tremendous film lost out to winning the Best Picture award in 1961 to "The Apartment".

As good as film as "The Apartment" is, it certainly didn't deserve the merits of best picture. Especially since "Elmer Gantry" was also nominated. What's also shocking to discover is that "Spartacus" was not even nominated for best picture by the Academy. How can that be?

Simple.

After doing a little research on imdb.com, it's apparent that the Academy wasn't about to let another epic film win best picture after "Ben-Hur" took home the honors in 1960 and that's just a shame. "Spartacus" certainly deserved to be nominated. Even Kirk Douglas got the shaft in 1961 as the Academy didn't even nominate him for best actor. Douglas was riveting as the lead role in this film, even if the flick is over 3 hours long, it's three hours of the greatest filmmaking in the history of Hollywood.

Maybe the Academy chickened out once the Golden Globes awarded "Spartacus" with its best picture award?

While watching the film, I glanced at the DVD container and read winner of four Academy awards. I was thinking the awards must have been best picture, best actor, best director...Forget. The Academy clearly blew out back in 1961 by not giving "Spartacus" the full credit it deserved. Thanks, Esteeb for allowing me to borrow this fine film from your DVD library.

Preminger biography a must-read

Foster Hirsch's epic biography, "Otto Preminger: The Man Who Would Be King" truly depicts the life and times of one of the greatest film directors Hollywood has ever known.

Hirsch's work is all encompassing and includes all the legendary tales of Preminger's career, including his numerous battles with censorship standards.

Preminger was a director actors feared, but desired to work for. While Paul Newman loathed him for their collaboration on "Exodus", he and Frank Sinatra got along splendidly.

Most importantly, Hirsch does a fantastic job in making sure Preminger's battles with censorship standards didn't effect his ability of making such important films as "The Cardinal" and "Anatomy of a Murder".

Unlike today's films which leave entirely nothing to the imagination, Preminger's films touched on important subjects at the time, but didn't offend.

Preminger's greatest film is possibly "Advise and Consent" - a top-notch political drama based on Alan Drury's 1959 Pulitizer Prize winning novel.

Despite the heat that Preminger took from studio executives, he wouldn't allow them to shape his work on "Advise and Consent" and did his best to stick to the original storyline.

Long before other directors had the guts to tackle subject such as drug abuse, homosexuality and racism, Preminger had already made his mark in such blockbuster films as "The Man with the Golden Arm" and "Anatomy of a Murder".

The sad thing about the biography is that "Carmen Jones" isn't available on DVD due to a copyright issue that Hirsch elaborates about.

Remakes me wanna puke

If you've ever glanced at my Netflix cue, you'd realize that I am an avid classic films junkie. I have no time or desire to watch the countless remakes that Hollywood seems to want to push down the throats of moviegoers these days.

Just yesterday when I thought I had rented the original version of "3:10 to Yuma", what came in the mail to my bewilderment was the remake starring Russell Crowe. It was quickly ejected from my DVD player and returned to my nearest mail box. And I'm going to email Netflix and alert them about the mistake.

I also recently learned that director Michael Bay is considering remaking Roman Polanski's horror classic, "Rosemary's Baby". Big mistake. Here's to hoping that the folks who run the studios out in Hollywood realize that remaking this film is a definite no-no. It's fine, just the way it is and we don't need Michael Bay to screw with it.

A quick glance at his bio on imdb.com and Bay is currently working on "A Nightmare on Elm Street". How original?

Hollywood needs to stop cranking out remakes and think of better ways to make new films these days. Take a chance for pete's sake.

Walter Brennan: One very annoying dude

Born in Swampscott, Mass., Hollywood actor Walter Brennan was a talented, multipurpose actor.

He starred in films with legendary actors Humphrey Bogart and John Wayne, but in both "Red River" and "Rio Bravo", Brennan comes off as extremely annoying. So much so that this blogger anticipated his demise throughout both films previously mentioned.

Interesting enough, Brennan was born in Swampscott, Mass., the same state that this blogger hails from. Go figure.

Maybe Brennan isn't quite as annoying when you discover that he's a three-time Oscar winner for best supporting actor. Still, his whiney mannerisims and pathetic shtick in both "Red River" and "Rio Bravo" was just too much to handle and I sure wish he at least took a bullet in the leg in either feature.

Brennan wasn't as bothersome in "Red River" and who knows why the great Howard Hawks decided to turn him into a circus show freak in "Rio Bravo".

Also interesting is the scene in "Rio Bravo" where Wayne's charachter gives Brennan a kiss on top of his head and Brennan gives Duke a smack on his ass with a broom.

Well, if you've never seen either "Red River" or "Rio Bravo" add them to your Netflix cue. Both are classics and illustrate how great westerns were made during the late 1950s and early 1960s.

I'm off to watch Kirk Douglas in Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, "Spartacus".