Horse Head Bookends

Unlike my overzealous compatriot I enjoy movies both old and new, but I do find that there is a better chance I will enjoy a movie if it was made in the 40s.

That's not what I want to speak of today however. I, too, want to speak of injustice. As an avid movie fan I have an extensive DVD collection that I feel is incomplete. While a collector is never truly done, there are a few essential titles that I feel are gravely missing from the format.

Number one on my list is Student Bodies. This 1981 Michael Ritchie film (nee, Alan Smithee) is hands down the best horror spoof ever made. Most of you probably think Scream holds that honor, but Scream did not have "horse head bookends". I know Michael Ritchie disowned this movie, because he thought it would hurt his respectability (after all he directed the exceptional original version of the Bad News Bears), but that is why it is so essential. It is low budget, low-art and everything else that Hollywood wants to hide. This is a movie to watch over and over again for the sheer joy of it's cinematic wonders. Has anybody ever purposefully watch Amistad a second time... Exactly!



Other films that I feel warrant the digital format include Blood Beach, The Keep, The Bermuda Depths, The Girl From Starship Venus, Patti Rocks and Miracle Beach (Ami Dolenz best role - she wears a bikini throught the entire picture - Barbara Eden be warned!). There may be a few others I forgot but these are the ones that's non-existance vex me.

You might ask me, "Esteeb, but aren't all of these are either small ridiculous movies that no one wants to see?" And my reply would be well if they are unnecessary why then are Kiss The Girls and Con Air available on DVD? OK, I see. They have "star" power, despite being utter crap. Still, they released Savage Weekend on DVD, and while I gleefully own a copy, it certainly doesn't rank up there with any the afforementioned titles. OK, maybe it's better than The Girl From Starship Venus, but that one has more nudity.

I implore all of you to run out to Amazon.com, videoeta.com or any other DVD/Movie Studio site and start demanding these movies be digitized and cleaned up for release. Even if they only make one copy for me.

Oh and one more thing, run out to Walmart and any other fine DVD retailer and grab all of their DVDs of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (especially the 14-disc special editions) and burn them. Burn them in the store. Burn them all. And anyone who tries to stop you... light them on fire.

Then stand up and say "We beckon you all... Tripe begone! Put Student Bodies out on DVD!!!"